Teaching is Tough

I have just completed two full days of teaching all the subjects. On day one, I was really excited but nervous to teach all day. I didn't know what to expect. I have complete control of the classroom. I am reminded of what Paul says, I wish that not many of you become teachers for you will have stricter judgment. I am responsible for 25 lives 5 hours a day five times a week. They spend most of their time with me and engaging in learning about themselves and the world around them. I have a great responsibility to make sure that they are being fed physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I have realized that this coming into teaching but I did not know the affect it would have on my body and even creativity. After two days of teaching, I feel like my brain is stretched and I have no creativity left. I know that is not true but still. I remember when I was a kid learning all these things new the first time was difficult. But I now realize that I have to have all the information, at once in my brain, so that I know where the end result with be and bring my children to that same place. It is like having the big picture in your brain plus all the little details. If you miss a detail then you might possibly not get to the end result.
It is also difficult when you have developed a relationship with the children and they get a bad grade. You want them to succeed so badly that you almost pray that you dont have to give them this grade but you have to. Not only that, but when you are the teacher, you feel as though you have taught the lesson wrong or that you made a mistake, why else did they get the wrong answer. I felt this way in Grammar today. We were going over present-tense verbs. There are four rules to keep in mind when doing these types of verbs. It is difficult to only have one day where we learn about these types of verbs. Some of the kids were all over the map in trying to spell the verb in the correct tense. Others did well and still others did great. I know that is typical but I want them all to understand the first time. It was also a little disheartening when Their science quiz grades went down today, especially when I warned them about certain questions that they would find difficult. About 2/3 got A and B and the rest got C. I know that is a good bell curve but from the last quiz more got 100%.
Another thing to keep in account is that my style is not spoon feeding. I do not like it. I find that happens a lot in elementary education. My students can think when they choose to do so. But more often than not they make silly mistakes and rush through their work. The students have come up to my and said, you didnt say this. They I said well you did read the chapter didnt you, and they say yes. Then I reply well, I did talk about it but you have to now apply it. Fact is not good enough, how might it apply to life. I find that in college, I would do the same thing though. I would just read the page because I had to but didn't pay too much attention to it. I just need different ways to motivate them to care about what they are reading. See, I know how to motivate but it is also difficult to do that in another country. This country will not read for fun. They do not choose to learn on their own, outside of a trade job, for it is not encouraged. Creativity is not either, in fact it can be shunned sometimes. Learning about this culture takes you on a ride that never ends. There are so many facets to it, I don't think I can keep up.
I just ask for prayer for my classroom and I. I have been soaking up the word and enjoying God for what he has provided me with and the blessing that He is to me. I am also inviting his spirit into my classroom and my mind. But for some reason, I feel like my creative juices have run dry and my energy to halt. I could use some prayer and encouragement. Do not get me wrong as you read this, I love that I am here and it is an amazing experience that I am having but it is stretching me and molding me into potentially becoming a great teacher one day. I thank God everyday for this opportunity. Though trials may come, my faith will be proved genuine and I will succeed because teaching is what he has called me to do!